Tubridy Gets Last Round Of Vaccinations Ahead Of Toy Show
“HIT ME!” yelled Ryan Tubridy, biting down on a rubber gumshield as another dose of painful, yet very necessary medicine coursed through his veins, causing him to buck and thrash against the leather restraints that bound him to the stretcher in the makeshift medical facility set up in the RTÉ canteen.
“Mr. Tubridy is currently receiving dose 4 of a 5-part vaccination program,” explained Dr. Brian Ossifer, the consultant pharmaceutical genius drafted in to inoculate Tubridy from any and all kid-related diseases ahead of this Friday’s Late Late Toy Show.
“He got his first two shots last week, then we came back to dose him with boosters today. The process in incredibly hard on him, so we had to split it up like that.
“After he stops this seizure, we’ll hit him again. That should leave him alright for Friday”.
Although intrusive and painful, Mr. Tubridy insisted on the vaccination procedure, which will leave his immune system in fighting shape when he comes into contact with ‘unwashed culchie kids’ during Friday’s Christmas edition of the long-running chat show, as well as giving him the energy needed to appear like he gives a shit throughout.
“In recent years, Ryan has run out of steam somewhere around the five minute mark,” said Dr. Ossifer, prepping a booster jab, “This year we might actually get him to the 11.30pm mark without looking like he wants to drive a kids tricycle into a wall at high speed”.