2016 Asked What Its Fucking Problem Is

242
0
Share:

FOLLOWING the news that the year 2016 has added songwriting legend Leonard Cohen to its list of prominent homicides this year, the world has confirmed it wants to know what 2016’s fucking problem is.

“You’re just fucking taking who you like – a funk and pop God, a Glam hero and someone I played on vinyl when I needed a good cry, I don’t get it. It’s like you are trying to ruin every day of my life,” Colm Henry, a Dublin native, shared as part of furious temper tantrum.

“And don’t get me started on fucking Brexit and that shower in America,” Henry added while blocking out thoughts of whom 2016 might potentially take next.

2016, a 366 day calendar year has been consistently criticised throughout its reign of terror as its record of killing people and a penchant for batshit crazy happenings compares unfavourably with its peers 2015, 2014 and 2013.

“Raspberry Beret wasn’t supposed to make me sad, it was supposed to make me look like a fool on the dance floor at weddings, and 2016 has fucked that up for me, cheers, you complete bastard,” added Maggie Dunleahy, from Waterford.

Livid members of the public also pointed out that 2016, despite having an Olympics and European Championships, still managed to leave people feeling ‘incredibly sad, frustrated and annoyed’.

“It’s not too much to ask is it, for an explanation like, seriously, what the fuck is its problem?” added just about everyone.

Share:
X