Trump To Make It Legal To Marry Your Daughter As 1st Act In Office


DESPITE not taking office until January of next year, President elect Donald Trump has revealed the first executive order he will issue when he takes power.

“I know this is an issue close to the American people’s heart, believe me, so I’ll be making marrying your beautiful daughter legal. It’s going to be great, we’ll have the best incest, believe me,” an emotional Trump declared.

Trump surprised political commentators who expected his first act in office to be something he pledged to do during his campaign such as the wholesale rounding up of Muslim Americans, a $6 billion tax cut for the wealthy or the punishment of women who have abortions.

“We’re going to incest bigly. This is my number one priority America, no one has more respect for the bond between a father and his more attractive of two daughters,” beamed the soon to be president, who had as recently as last week stated the right to free speech, as outlined in the US constitution, could do with some changing.

Insiders close to Trump sought to reassure some of his supporters, stating that he would waste no time in Making America Great Again.

“We understand people’s passion for having their fortunes turned around by a president who pledged to bring jobs back, but he also wants to make people as equally vulnerable as you suffer first, so please be patient,” a Trump aide explained.

Ivanka Trump was unavailable for comment as she was last seen fleeing for the Canadian border.