America To Spend Day In Shower Washing Traces Of Presidential Debate Off Its Skin
AFTER watching on in horror as the second of three US presidential debates unfolded before their eyes yesterday evening, America will spend the day in the shower desperately scrubbing any remnants of the torrid affair off their skin.
“Get it off, get it off, get it off,” America screamed as it slumped down to its feet and wept uncontrollably, before dry retching and then vomited as it recalled some of the more unsavory passages of the 90 minute town hall style debate that has left the nation of 320 million feeling dirty.
Following a cordial opening 2 seconds, the debate soon descended to the gutter as many political experts predicted, owing to the fact Republican nominee Donald Trump was on the stage.
Recalling how candidates auditioning for the job of most powerful person on the planet spent much of their allotted time performing character assassination after character assassination, America scrubbed itself while solemnly whispering ‘I’ll never be clean again’.
Hillary Clinton was criticised for her inability to compete with the crazy in her opponents eyes, damaging her chances of gaining the vital ‘bat shit crazy vote’ which could prove vital in this year’s election.
Trump also came in for significant criticism from political commentators for exchanging in a record number of falsehoods which depicted him a deranged, aggressive loon disconnected from reality, a charge he strenuously denied.
“Myself and reality, have the best relationship, believe me, it’s tremendous, really it is. Anytime I want I could ring up reality to talk, I choose not to, but believe me I can, I have the best reality,” Trump confirmed.
Fact checkers monitoring the debate, quit en masse just 10 minutes into the debate as the pressure to keep up the wild and unhinged Trump proved too much to be able to cope with.
America has confirmed that with just one debate left, they might as well just stay in the shower.