Dublin Landlords Have Just Surpassed Famine Big House Levels


LANDLORDS in the Nation’s capital have reportedly reached famine ‘Big House’ levels of greed, after managing to raise rent prices by 10% in just 12 months, despite efforts by the previous Government to put a two-year freeze on rises.

Disregarding previous financial mistakes of the past 20 years, unscrupulous property owners began raising rents early last year, forcing many low income young people into shared accommodation in some of the city’s most run-down and dilapidated apartment blocks.

“There’s five of us sharing a double bedroom,” explains full-time college student and peasant, Gerry O’Hara. “Most of my money goes on rent, the rest is then pooled with the rest of the lads here on noodles and potatoes. I’ve never even met my landlord as an agent takes care of siphoning money from my bank account. There’s a few things need fixing in the gaff, but they never get back to us when we ask them to sort it, they only talk to us when the rent is a few minutes late”.

However, big house owner, landlord and donor to Fine Gael, Cyril Costigan, defended the current trend emerging in Dublin, claiming it will be good for the city in the long as rising rents will push the ‘riff raff’ to the outskirts, ‘where they belong’.

“This is the natural order of things these days and people need to stop whinging that they cannot afford better accommodation,” Costigan barked, while turning a pig on a spit in his stately home, “If you can’t afford to live in Dublin, get a better job, or move somewhere more appropriate of your class of people, like Athlone or somewhere. Stop bothering us with your poor mouth crap”.

According to the latest figures from the Residential Tenancies Board, the increases were not just confined to the Dublin area, but also occurred in other parts of the country, like Waterford, where prices jumped a staggering 35 cent per month on some properties.

The Dáíl, the majority of whom are landlords, aren’t expected to do much to change the current trend.