America Generously Donates $38bn To Impoverished And War Torn Israel


IN a kind hearted and generous gesture to one of the world’s most impoverished and war torn countries, the United States of America has offered to donate a whopping $38bn to the desperate people of Israel, WWN has learned today.

The donation, which represents the largest pledge the US has made to any country, will enshrine funding for Israel’s reconstruction and expansion across the West Bank, in a bid to get the fragile nation ‘back on its feet’, after years of oppression from Iran and terrorist groups like Hamas, who razed Israel to the ground over the past decade.

“I was debating with myself for ages what to spend this extra money we found in our never ending banking reserves on; regenerating impoverished cities? Ending the escalation in racism? Gun control? Drug addiction? Water pollution? And then I remembered about poor old Israel!” President of the United States Barack Obama explained.

“There is no other nation in the world I can think that truly deserves this ludicrous sum of money,” adding, “hopefully Mr. Netanyahu will spend it wisely, for the greater good of mankind”.

The donation, known as a memorandum of don’t tell everyone our dirty secrets (MODTEODS), will see $3.8bn a year in aid delivered to the cash-strapped state.

Following news of the donation, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu requested another $10bn ‘if America could spare it’, but later settled on the agreed $38bn and a few stray airstrikes on its enemies.

“$22,000 per Palestinian ought to do it… cheers!” the Israeli PM said, thanking Obama.