Great British Bake Off Moves To HBO, Will Have Grittier Tone, Nudity

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CONTRARY to earlier reports that Channel 4 had snapped up the rights to the popular show, American broadcaster HBO has ponied up over £100 million for the Great British Bake Off with the promise of a grittier tone and nudity.

“We’re going to take this quintessential British show and HBO it the fuck up,” HBO CEO Richard Plepler confirmed to WWN.

The BBC had been in negotiations with Love Productions, the makers of the popular show, but failed to agree terms, paving the way for HBO to swoop in.

“First off, we need to get some nudity in there, and we’ll have a baking task involving heroin. Heroin cakes are gritty and really speak to our core audience,” added Plepler, going on to state that the show would be ‘Game of Thrones-ified’ almost immediately.

“You’re favourite retiree choirmaster and charity shop volunteer who just baked an 18-tier cake? We’re going to chop her fucking head off and mount it on a spike, no character is safe,” confirmed, giving the impression he was unaware the GBBO was not a drama involving fictional characters.

The ratings winner will air on HBO in the late slot of 11.55pm to allow for the explicit sex scenes which Plepler says will not be isolated to just the presenters, judges and contestants.

“Someone is going to fuck a cake, that’s all I can say for now,” concluded the HBO CEO.

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