Man Just Out Of Relationship Not Ready To Commit To 48-Month Broadband Contract

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A LOCAL Waterford man is struggling with the concept of committing to anything or anyone following the demise of the 24th romantic relationship of his love career, WWN has learned.

Thomas Kelleher, with an address in the Waterford area of Ireland, had been involved with his ex-girlfriend Jenny Parish for 3 years, but since their relationship ended, he has found it hard to commit to anything.

“I’m just not in the right place, or headspace, ya know,” a quiet Thomas Kelleher shared with WWN as he batted off yet another unsolicited phone call from a broadband supplier that was convinced Kelleher would be their perfect match for a 48 month contract that he would never be free from.

“One minute they’ll be all ‘unlimited broadband’ and then the next they’ll just want more from me like a guarantee we’ll get married within 2 years, trust me, I’ve been there before and I ain’t going back,” Kelleher added, obviously using broadband as a thinly veiled metaphor for his troublesome relationship with his ex.

“I can’t contemplate 48 minutes with someone, never mind 48 months, I’d just ask for patience at this point…I’m, I’m not ready for another big commitment,” Kelleher concluded while looking forlornly out of a nearby window in a bid to give his words greater emotional resonance.

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