Dozens Shot In America, Probably

IT’S more than likely that reports will come in later today that dozens of people have been shot in America after a shooter goes on a rampage in a school, or possibly an office.

Statistically speaking, America has a mass shooting every few days, so it’s pretty fair to say that there’s more than likely one going on either now, or around the time this article goes to the presses.

The victims are likely to be mostly innocent bystanders, and the overall death toll will include the life of the shooter who more often than not ends each rampage with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head or head-area.

“Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims of this occurring or soon-to-occur incident,” say the majority of US political figures, in pre-written statements that they have in their desks ready to have the blanks filled in at a moment’s notice.

“The people of [blank] are a resilient and strong community, and we know that the actions that took place on [date] may shake them to their core, but they will endure, and so will these United States. God bless us all, now, or soon”.

As and when the race of the shooter is revealed, WWN will confirm whether or not this latest incident was the work of a troubled loner, or an act of terrorism.