Ireland Appeals To Brazilian Authorities To Sort Out Rest Of Nation’s Corruption


THE Irish public has made a heartbreaking appeal to the Brazilian authorities to carry on their anti-corruption operations, which have so far seen two Irishmen arrested in Rio, on Irish soil.

Buoyed by the very public arrest of OCI chief Pat Hickey, the Irish public have taken the Brazilian police forces and judiciary into their hearts and have been very vocal about the good they could do in Ireland, were they to decide to pop over on holiday.

“We’re flexible, they can come over for a few days, kip on our couches, but I love their take no shit attitude, imagine what they’d get done over here in the time it takes to tie your shoe laces,” mused Cian Gaffney, an Irish local.

Many members of the Irish cited the aftermath of Hickey’s arrest, in which countless journalists and public figures came forward to suggest the arrest was ‘a long time coming’ as further proof that the Nation should contract the Brazilian authorities full time.

“These lads take no shit, so they’re alright by me. I say get them on the first plane over here, let them loose on the county councils, semi-state bodies and the Dáil,” remarked one fed up citizen who confirmed that she would be happy to cook any Brazilian police officers’ breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The public has already asked the Brazilian authorities to be patient with them as a switch to swift arrests and prosecutions from rather lengthy tribunals with no charges will take some getting used to.

“I’ve heard they can be corrupt enough themselves, but if they’re getting results like the ones we’ve seen recently, I’ll send them brown envelopes myself”.