WWN’s Horoscopes
aries
21 March – 20 April
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/aries-tb.gif)
Weight loss, or bigger jeans? It’s your secret.
taurus
21 April – 21 May
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/taurus-tb.gif)
Keep buying canned goods, you never know when the missiles will start flying.
gemini
May 21 – June 20
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/gemini-tb.gif)
You make a big splash today! As you drive through a puddle and soak a load of people on their way to work. Prick.
cancer
June 21 – July 22
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/cancer-tb.gif)
You thank the sweet Lord above that the Olympics are finally fucking over.
leo
July 23 – August 22
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/leo-tb.gif)
Now’s as good a day as any to try this “going outside” craic.
virgo
August 23 – September 22
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/virgo-tb.gif)
You put your trousers on one leg at a time for a change, and you admit that it’s not without its merits.
libra
September 23 – October 22
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/libra-tb.gif)
Smile. It confuses people. People that are easily confused by smiles. You know, idiots.
scorpio
October 23 – November 21
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/scorpio-tb.gif)
You borrow your mum’s glasses so you can look like Conor McGregor.
sagittarius
November 22 – December 21
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/sagittarius-tb.gif)
You shit yourself. We can’t believe it. you can’t either. You’re a grown-ass adult and you have fouled your pants in public. Jesus Christ.
capricorn
December 22 – January 19
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/capricorn-tb.gif)
You narrowly avoid doing some work today.
aquarius
January 20 – February 18
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/aquarius-tb.gif)
Turns out you CAN do donuts in a Micra.
pisces
February 19 – March 20
![](https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-content/plugins/wwn-quiz-plugin-v0.58/img/hs/pisces-tb.gif)
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? It looks like it must have been devastating. You’re in bits.