Michael D. Higgins Becomes First President To Officially Open Acid Rave In Forest


IN A FIRST for Ireland, Michael D. Higgins becomes the first sitting president to have formally opened an acid rave in a forest.

Arriving in his State car, the President waved to the crowd who had promised to wait for him until they dropped their first tabs of the rave. Invited to the event via a secret Facebook group, the 75-year-old looked delighted to have found the forest due to the poor directions given to him by the organisers.

“The President told us he was bored with unveiling plaques at old people’s homes and reading a poem at a wine reception attended by stuffy arty types, so he asked us to bring him more exciting things to open, unveil and attend,” assistant to the president Cormac O’Halligan explained to WWN, “so we sent him on this rave and he was delighted”.

Forest Madness, described as a weekend of ‘banging tunes, dropping tabs, feeling trees, chewing jaws, and making friends’ was the location for President Higgins on Friday morning and his first foray into ‘more exciting things to open’.

“Mary Robinson was out of her bin at Body & Soul two years ago, but that wasn’t in an official capacity, so Micheal’s visit to Forest Madness is a first for Ireland,” Forest Madness organiser Boxer Kelly told WWN.

The 2-day festival saw a headline set from casual drug use, and the President was said to be delighted by ‘the energy’ of the crowd.

“It gets fierce boring for him, so if he sees an opportunity to drop some acid and run away from his security for a few days into a secluded forest he’ll jump at the chance. He’s quicker than he looks,” head of security for the president Garda Martin Healy shared with WWN while combing a nearby field for the still on the loose president.