Woman Frantically Trying To Recreate Fart Noise Waiting Room Chair Made

A COUNTY Waterford woman is currently trying to recreate a fart noise her chair made in a bid to prove it wasn’t gas emanating from her lower intestines via a passageway at her anus.

Following the unexpected friction from her shifting weight, Cathy Davis frantically began reconstructing her previous body movements in an unsuccessful attempt to save face, leaving fellow waiting room patients at Dr. Collins’s medical surgery perplexed.

“Your one must have some dose of piles,” pointed out one man to his wife, who was waiting to get a cyst on his testicle drained, “she’s squirming around the place after that fart. She must of had followed through. Of all places too, the poor dear”.

Now overtly aware of her self conscious behaviour, the 43-year-old mother of children settled back to her seat demoralised, hoping beyond hope that her waiting room peers would somehow know it was the chair, and not her good self.

“I’ll try reaching for a magazine, hopefully I can recreate the sound again that way,” she told herself, before taking the lunge forward for a 2006 Heat magazine featuring Jade Goody, and farting uncontrollably in the process.

“Good arse,” she exclaimed, now staring irately across the room in defeat, “Better out than in, eh?”