ONLY IN IRELAND! 10 Things That Happen Absolutely Every-Fucking-Where!

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WE HERE at WWN towers absolutely love Ireland. If Ireland was a food it’d be a food that everyone absolutely loves, and if it was a TV show it would be one of those TV shows everyone agrees is very good. If it was any piece of pop culture ephemera it’d be the type that doesn’t offend anyone, and that would entice you to click. God, we ruddy love Ireland so we do!

And what would Ireland be without things that can make up lists. So, without further attempts to reach the minimum word count my editor has told me I have to reach, here’s 10 things that could only happen in Ireland. Gas!

Horses in a field

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ONLY IN IRELAND!!! Lol, this literally happens nowhere else in the world. If you told us that this was actually a stock image of a horse in Poland we’d beat the ever living shit out of you, because you’d be lying through your teeth. Horses doing things is an Ireland only thing, you prick.

Mammies!

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Try to tell me there are caring, overbearing, cardigan wearing, tells you to stop swearing mothers anywhere else in the world and I’ll cut a bitch. No hesitation. This only happens in Ireland. Repeat after me ‘ONLY IN IRELAND’. No I won’t put down the knife.

Tractor

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Hahaha, only in Ireland. Lads! In tractors! You just couldn’t make it up. Granted Argentina, Canada, China, India, France, Brazil, the UK, Australia and American to name but a few dwarf us when it comes to agricultural output, but there’s no way that between them they’ve some sort of funny image of a lad on a tractor being all farmery and shit. Obviously this photo was taken in Axe Valley in Devon, England but still, uniquely Irish.

Pub. Lad. A lad in a pub. Pints. A particular lad with a pint in a pub.

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Classic! Only. In. Ireland. Only in Ireland would there be a man named Danny Kelly, born on the 5th of July 1971 drinking a pint in The Moss Inn right this moment in time. This isn’t about a deep seated sense of inferiority Irish people may have, we’re winning the Danny Kelly in the Moss Inn battle everyday of the week.

Rain in summer

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Would ya ever stop. God the place is soaked. The umbrella is attached to me every day of the week. The appearance of rain during traditionally warm months is an entirely Irish phenomenon and the last person who tried to tell me otherwise now resides in Glasnevin Cemetery, so you’ve been given fair warning. Only in Ireland.

Ireland

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Only in Ireland would you find the land mass of Ireland with its 2,797 km of coastline and a population of 6.3 million. Well, some of that is in Northern Ireland but don’t fucking ruin this on me, seriously!

Words, phrases and experiences

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Aw stop, that is too Irish! Where else would you find a broad array of things, places, activities and shared experiences that could be celebrated en masse by a nation other than in Ireland!

Bad things

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Hang on, we said we wouldn’t talk about this. And look, stop trying to fucking ruin this, there’s loads of bad things that happen in Ireland that happen elsewhere, we’re not unique in that respect.

A failure throughout all manner of societal structures when it comes to the matter of protecting children

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You’ve some neck, bringing that up, in a list that was supposed to be about good things.

Loads more bad things.

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Ah ye can fuck off now, you’ve ruined it and I’ve reached my word count so I could not be fucked at this stage anymore. Killjoy.

EDITOR’S NOTE: WWN would like to put on record its sincere apologies for the lack of gifs in this article.

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