Local Kid One Back To School Advert Away From Permanent Anxiety Issues


A WATERFORD city primary school pupil is said to be on the cusp of a mental breakdown this afternoon following a bombardment of back-to-school adverts emanating from his parent’s TV.

Luke Tobin, who will be ten and a half next week, said he was left feeling anxious during the ad break for his favourite TV show, for like the 100th time today.

“Seriously, I’m trying my best to enjoy some TV here, and all I’m getting is back to fucking school reminders since I turned on the blasted thing,” Tobin told WWN, now biting his nails in torment, “leave me watch my programmes in peace for Christ’s sakes. I’ve only another three weeks left”.

The son-of-two went on to slam advertisers for their relentless commercials, pointing out that it’s a never ending battle throughout the year.

“I’ll be back in school two minutes and the scumbag bastards will be shoving Christmas down my neck,” the irate 3rd class pupil added, “Christmas will be over then and it’s Easter fucking eggs. Just leave me the fuck alone to watch my shit, you motherfuckers!”

It is understood the pre-teen has already developed an irrational fear of supermarkets, due to their ongoing campaign of sweatshop school uniforms and below standard lunchboxes, aimed at his parents.

“I get a dose of the shits everytime I pass Tescos,” Tobin said, now wishing he smoked cigarettes, “at this rate I’ll have some underlying anxiety issue by the time I hit puberty. You don’t see back-to-work adverts for adults during Christmas holidays, so why should us children be traumatised for the sake of a cheap pencil case from China?”