Theresa May Turns To Brother For Advice On Brexit
NEWLY-elected British prime minister Theresa May, finding herself at a loss as to what to do about the whole Brexit situation, has requested advice from her brother Brian, lead guitarist of popular rock group Queen.
May, who was a vocal supporter for the Leave campaign, is expected to ask May, who was a vocal supporter of the ‘let’s see how fast Freddie Mercury will spin in his grave’ movement, just what is the best course of action to take now that the British public have voted to leave the EU and every political figure involved in that decision has either retired or hidden themselves underneath a park bench.
“Theresa has always shared advice with her older brother, whether it’s about matters of politics, or about how to keep milking the worth of a rock group despite the fact the irreplaceable frontman is long dead,” said a source close to the Tory party.
“As for what Brian will tell her about Brexit… Christ only knows. He’s far too busy trying to sell Adam fucking Lambert as a suitable replacement for Freddie Mercury”.
Meanwhile struggling foreign secretary Boris Johnson is to seek charisma lessons from his Samoan cousin, Dwayne.