“Suing People Is Harder Than It Looks” – Irish Trillionaire Declan O’Ryan

WWN’s visionary owner and all round infallible genius Declan O’Ryan bestows yet more priceless business wisdom on you, our dear readers.

If you repeat any of this in public, claiming I advised you in any capacity on this, I will sue you so hard your arse will tighten up at the mere mention of my name.

The above statement is something I call ‘going full Declan’. It’s not for everyone, going full Declan, but Christ does it work. People often ask me ‘Declan, you’re so amazing’. I know, it’s not really a question, but I like hearing it so much enough that I pay people to say it to me on a regular basis.

Another thing I pay people for is suing my rivals, my enemies, my adversaries, my anybody I don’t like the look of.

I can’t stress enough how suing is a first resort. There’s no better way to ensure all your hard fought for business gains, and the peerless reputation that comes with it remains pristine and intact.

And as is often the case with the best things in life, like owning a large percentage of a country, they don’t come cheap. Suing people involves paying solicitors the big bucks. I’m just like you, an ordinary trillionaire with near endless resources that I can spend on solicitors, but I still like to watch my outgoings.

Successfully suing someone is costly. But being ‘successful’ isn’t really important as long as you financially cripple whoever it is you’re bringing before the courts.

Suing can be a lot more difficult than it looks. It’s important to hire the right team of legal professionals along with the right private investigators and experts.

I’m currently in the midst of going full Declan on a company that once typed my name into Google. This seems like an open and shut case, right? How dare they. Don’t they know who I am? However, a judge, who if I’m being honest needs a good suing as well, said I needed to support my case with ‘evidence’. How you ever heard such anti-trillionaire rhetoric in all your life?

The judge pointed out that the expert I hired to analyse the laptop used to Google me, accidentally blew it up using 4 tonnes of C4, but that doesn’t mean the laptop or its contents never existed! This sort of mistake could happen to anyone.

See, suing people isn’t a walk in the park. It’s more like a walk in the park where out of nowhere everyone is picking on you and calling you names. That’s not nice, I have feelings too. Really expensive and rich feelings.

So, you might be thinking, what steps can you take to avoid all this?

I’ve given it much thought, and I’ve decided the best action going forward is to pay all those experts and legal eagles to just feel sorry for me instead.

Shifting focus from suing to giving hugs and telling me I’m really cool feels much better. But if you tell anyone I said that, well, you get the picture.