Monaghan Cows Had Two Weeks To Go To Retirement

ADDING further tragedy to an already tragic situation, it has been revealed that five cows shot dead by the Irish army this week were only a fortnight away from retirement.

The shocking incident in Carrickmacross, Co. Monaghan, occurred as part of a bankruptcy suit against a local farmer, in which bailiffs decided that herding the five cattle into a trailer was beyond their capabilities and drafted in the army to riddle them with bullets.

The army, with no Securicor vans to mind at the time, gladly agreed to perforate the livestock, much to the horror of animal and meat lovers nationwide.

“It’s a total tragedy that these cows didn’t live long enough to get sent to the slaughterhouse,” said one internet commentator “I’d condemn the murder of any animal when there’s no chance that it’ll be consumed by humans or the likes,” adding “these poor animals will never know what it’s like to be packed into a truck and struck down with a bolt gun to the forehead”.

Similar protests were made across social media, with everyone agreeing that a greater attempt should have been made to round the cattle up and shoot them somewhere else. All five cattle are survived by their calves, who hopefully will be slaughtered properly when their time comes.