Media Claims Jennifer Aniston Is Pregnant For 4,467th Time


THE MEDIA has confirmed for the 4,467th in the last few years that actress Jennifer Aniston is pregnant.

While it is not thought the Guinness Book of World Records has verified the claims, it does make the former Friends star the most prolific baby-haver in the history of human existence.

Aniston sparked rumours of another pregnancy when Mail Online journalist Keira Shegwick realised she desperately needed a quick story as she was under pressure from her editor.

“I never have anything of true merit that is worthy of publishing, but this was especially the case yesterday morning. Then I saw a picture of Jennifer Aniston and figured I could spin it into another pregnancy story,” Shegwick admitted.

Using her powers of observation Shegwick correctly asserted that the presence of Aniston in public wearing clothes and drinking a juice of some sort warranted the confirmation that the actress ‘always wanted children’ and was indeed 3 months pregnant.

“Two made up quotes from ‘insiders’ later and I had some bullshit my editor would be happy with. But, personally I’m more happy for Jen, because although I’ve never met her and do not know her personally, I know she is desperate to be a mother,” Shegwick concluded.

Medical experts have expressed confusion and scepticism at the news that Aniston averages a new pregnancy every week, however, we here at WWN towers are delighted for Jen.