Woodies Unveil New Revolutionary Brush You Can Tar Everyone With

THE popular DIY retail chain has announced that it is now stocking a revolutionary brush from an American manufacturer that allows people to tar all manner of different individuals with the same brush.

The ‘Labelall brush’ had been used in America by people who sought to apply a thick coating of presumption, stereotyping and prejudice on to all groupings of people that crosses their paths. Demand for the product here in Ireland is believed to be huge and the brush is set to go on sale this weekend.

“The brushing action is so smooth,” explained professional product tester Martin Downey, “I’ve never been able to just tar one set of people, be they working class, rich, poor or of a different nationality or ethnicity so effectively and quickly until this brush came on the market”.

“Before the Labelall brush arrived, you have to buy separate brushes to tar people with which was time consuming as you’d have to get to know the person and their background first. Now with Labelall, with just one stroke, you can tarnish any group of people you want, it’s a Godsend”.

Market research suggests the brush will be a top seller with different people and groups from a variety of backgrounds. The brush is said to last for up to 1,000 tarrings before being replaced with a new updated brush, which comes with a booklet, informating owners of all the latest discriminations and aspersions techniques.