Shy Man Finds Quiet Corner Of Party To Disappear Into


A SHY man who doesn’t do well with new people or big crowds has successfully blended in next to a pot plant at a lively party, WWN understands.

John Quinlan, who often runs over how he is going to begin a conversation with someone in his head 40 times just to be sure it doesn’t end in awkward embarrassment, arrived at Susan Corrigan’s housewarming party at exactly 8pm.

Sadly, the socially awkward accountant was the first to arrive resulting in a series of aborted attempts to generate conversation which didn’t make John want to die inside and scream ‘shit shit shit’ in his head.

Wounded by his poor attempts at communicating with another human being, John searched for a quiet corner to be ignored in as the party filled up.

“Don’t stand near the fridge, that thing is a fucking magnet for people,” John said to himself in his head, “nowhere near the toilet either, the chances of awkward chit chat are too high with people coming in and out,” he added.

John earmarked a bookshelf to stand next to which given its dimensions, allowed him subtley recede into the space next to it.

“This is perfect,” John confirmed to himself as he entered his 36th minute of silence while holding an empty beer bottle.

The shy man conceded that while he could do with another beer, getting one would require moving and the risk of possible interaction with those around him was too great.