Catholic Church Becomes World’s First Disorganised Religion


THE Catholic Church has become the first religion to officially apply for and be granted the designation of a ‘disorganised religion’ following a lengthy application process.

The International Religious Accreditation Body set up an alternative status to organised religions late last year in an effort to acknowledge the gross hypocrisies inherent in many religious orders.

“We’ve earned this,” explained spokesman for the Vatican Fr. Eduardo Fernandez, “we’re a complete mess when it comes to our message and it’s nice to have that acknowledged and our status changed”.

Fr. Fernandez conceded that the new designation couldn’t come at a better time as the faith intends on increasing the number of mixed messages it sends to followers, depending on where they are in the world and how zealous their local bishop and priests are.

“When judging the Catholic church’s application we took into account that many priests admit in private that they haven’t got a problem with premarital sex, homosexuality, the use of condoms and so on, while the official line of the church begs to differ. This disjointed message really helped Catholicism earn its reputation as wholly uneven, inconsistent and disorganised,” explained chief judge on the religious accreditation panel Allister Courtney.

Courtney made special mention of followers of Catholicism who, due to the religion’s disorganisation, are falsely under the impression that the religion is open, liberal and finally forward thinking, while simultaneously, other members of the faith are proud of the church’s apparent distaste for anyone that sits outside the strict moral compass of the church.

The church’s new designation is not expected to impact its tax status around the world.