Nation Putting Pressure On 2016 Leaving Cert Class To Keep Good Weather Going


AN already stressed out Leaving Cert class of 2016 has complained about additional pressure placed on them when it comes to providing the scorching sunshine associated with the period of their examinations, WWN has learned.

As the country enjoys a spell of sunhine, the public is even more insistent with the class of 2016 that they carry this sunshine all the way to the start of the Leaving Cert exams on the 8th of June, until their conclusion on the 24th of June.

“This is the only thing that’s been keeping me going since Christmas, knowing that while the Leaving Cert is on, I’ll get a few days with guaranteed Sahara desert like conditions. Don’t mess this up for us,” cautioned one disgruntled adult Ailbhe Drury.

An increasing number of adults are leaving small hints for students in their final year of secondary school, implying that if the weather was to be anything less than perfect there would be a price to pay.

“I have 10 voicemails on my phone from today alone, it’s just some heavy breathing and then someone saying ‘good weather or else’,” shared concerned Leaving Cert student Eoin Boland, “I can’t deal with this added pressure, it’s too much”.

On average Ireland experiences over 457 diverse and equally depressing seasons per day, however, during the several weeks of the Leaving Cert temperatures soar to an average of 39 degrees. The meteorological phenomenon has baffled experts for nearly a century.

“Everyone has their theory, it’s like Ireland’s very own Bermuda triangle in many ways. Some say the good weather is punishment from God, a curse he handed down to Leaving Cert students for all eternity after Mayo student Thomas Flavin cheated on his English Paper 2 in 1981, making him the first ever student to cheat in the Leaving Cert,” Liam Curry of Met Éireann shared with WWN.

“And in fairness, if they don’t come through for us this year, I’ll kill them. I can’t do another summer of constant rain,” Curry added.

Latest reports on the ground suggest that anything less than 35 degree sunshine will result in an angry Nation tearing Leaving Cert students limb from limb in a violent repeat of scenes from 2001.