Police Raid Local Boots & Discover Over 400 Viable Bath Bombs


GRAFTON STREET in Dublin was on complete lockdown this morning as armed Gardaí descended on a branch of Boots in a dawn raid.

Working off of several tips gleaned from social media, Gardaí acted upon reports that bombs designed specifically for the bath were causing a number of victims to lock themselves in the bathroom for hours on end, unable to leave the bathtub.

“OMG, couldn’t move after using the lavender bath bomb. Don’t think I’ll be able for work tomorrow. Sooooo relaxing,” read one disturbing social media message shared by a victim in the Dublin area.

Gardaí relayed details of their raid to the media, careful not to underplay the seriousness of the incident.

“We can confirm that large quantities of a chemical compound were seized from city centre premises,” shared Sergeant Austin Kenna.

“The tech lab tells us that when exposed to water it reacts in such a way as to relax its victim to the point of basically being incapacitated,” Sergeant Kenna added.

The raid resulted in the arrest of the entire staff of the branch, and over 400 viable bath bombs seized. It is also believed there were several strains of bath bombs, each designed to react with the body in different yet equally relaxing ways.

“And to think there were some big mouths suggesting An Garda Síochána weren’t prepared for attacks like this, my boys showed them,” Sergeant Kenna confirmed.