Ireland On Track To Beat America In Gun Deaths In 2016


AMERICAN gun enthusiasts have expressed serious concern at the news that Ireland may be on track to out shoot them in 2016, following a flurry of violent gun related incidents.

“We’ve worked so hard to build up this dysfunctional system intertwined with our constitution, lobbyists and idle politicians, but these Irish just sort of fluked their way into contention,” explained NRA member Willard Collier.

Ireland has seen a rise in gun violence reporting, bringing the issue of unlicensed and illegal firearms into the public’s consciousness.

“Who’s the lawless land with untold butchering that goes on with nothing being done about it now, huh?” sniped back New Yorker and anti-gun advocate, David Skiffington, who is sick to death of being criticised for his country’s gun issues.

While America’s continued struggle with curbing violent offenses involving firearms has fascinated Ireland, Irish people for the most part seem unperturbed by joining the Western superpower as a ‘bat shit crazy gun mad place’.

“What worries me most in terms of the ‘incident league table’ is that you guys don’t even bother highlighting all those suicides involving firearms. Right now you try to keep that stuff out of the news, but once you realise that’s all it will take to nudge you ahead of us here in the US, we’re doomed,” NRA member Collier concluded.

Ireland has spent much of the last 6 months trying and failing to go a week without someone being killed or injured by a gun.

“I’m not proud of the gun crime or anything,” shared Dublin native Killian Coyne, “but those Americans are so up themselves, thinking their all that, be nice to beat them at something”.