Sinn Féin Cancel Ardfheis Rap Battle


IN an attempt to diminish the negative effects of the PR disaster stemming from Gerry Adams’s disastrous weekend on Twitter, Sinn Féin have opted to cancel the forthcoming inter-party rap battle at the next Ardfheis.

Adams stunned the Twitter audience with his use of the N-word in a tweet about the movie Django Unchained, and then stunned them again by admitting responsibility instead of opting for the “my account was hacked” excuse that politicians usually use.

Although his fellow Sinn Féin colleagues were quick to make assurances that Adams was neither a racist nor a bigot, they admitted that when it comes to Twitter, he is a “bit of a fuckin’ eejit” and that he has “the online self-awareness of a 15-year-old”.

With rival politicians and anti-Sinn Féin media outlets sharpening their knives for the party leader, Ardfheis organisers have made the decision to pull rap battling from next year’s event.

“Sinn Féin can identify with a lot of the struggles of African Americans, so we always like to have an aul rap battle at the Ardfheis,” said Mary Lou ‘da illest’ McDonald, doing her best to put out fires started by Adams for the 900th time this year.

“But it’s best to knock them on the head for a while, especially as Gerry thinks he can use any type of language he wants. It’s not like there’s much else rhymes with ‘trigger’, so we’ll just cancel the whole event until this blows over”.

Meanwhile, in a bid to make up for his transgressions at the weekend, Gerry Adams is bringing everyone out to KFC for dinner.