Stoners To Get Marginally More Stoned Than Normal Today


THE WORLD’S stoners have confirmed that they will be spending the majority of the day getting marginally more stoned than they normally would on any other day of the year.

While the origins, practices and meaning relating to the date of the 20th of April of 4/20 are unclear to many non-cannabis enthusiasts, it seems many users themselves are equally ill-informed when it comes to the large uptake in cannabis usage.

“420,” responded one laconic marijuana user, who gave the impression he thought his utterance contained as much importance as the most learned musings on the origins of humankind.

“Massive blunt,” responded one structural joint technician when asked what her plans for the day were.

Takeaway outlets across the world as bracing themselves for a barrage of orders which are expected to be placed throughout the day, with some taking on extra staff.

“We won’t make the same mistake as in previous years, we’ve got a staff of 4,000 working,” confirmed local Dominos manager Hardip Singh, who expects to bake over 200,000 pizzas for his customers today.

UPDATE: the world’s supply of Doritos and Pringles have now been exhausted.