Palestinian Terrorist Just Wants To Watch Paw Patrol


ONE of the most volatile Palestinian terrorists on the Israeli most-wanted list has opened up about his long-term goals in the war-torn region, most of which involve sitting down to watch an episode of his favourite show, Paw Patrol.

Nizar Tayseer Salim abu-Jazar, 7, finds it difficult to keep up with the Adventure Bay escapades of a team of heroic emergency service-providing dogs and their loyal human counterparts due to the fact that the Israeli Defence Force (IDF) are intent on maintaining peace in the region, saving it from children like Nizar.

Having been spotted engaged in terrorist activities such as walking to school and being alive, Nizar has to dodge checkpoints and rifle butts to the face if he wants to get home in time to catch an episode of Paw Patrol before he has to begin his nightly routine of screaming in the dark as the IDF raid his house.

“This child poses a significant threat to this otherwise peaceful region,” said a spokesperson for the IDF anti-breathing-kid division.

“But we may use his love of this ‘Paw Patrol’ show to our advantage. Anytime it’s on TV, he sits glued to the set for a full half an hour. If we can coordinate our forces, this is our opportunity to make Israel safe”.

The IDF have initiated this new plan to neutralise the threat posed by Nizar by launching an airstrike on his neighbourhood, adding him to the 2,089 child terrorists they have taken care of in the past 15 years.