Sack Of Shit To Replace Axl Rose As Lead Singer Of Guns N’ Roses


A 200lb sack of shit has been revealed as the new Guns N’ Roses lead singer as part of a bizarre series of events, which will also see Mr. Rose front Australian band AC/DC over the next few months.

AC/DC shocked fans when they said they would use a guest vocalist to finish their European tour, which had to be postponed due to Brian Johnson’s hearing loss, rendering him unfit-for-purpose.

In this latest move, the large bag of shit is expected to fill in for Rose while he is committed to his AC/DC tour, but it is not known whether it will be a permanent fixture in the band.

“We’re basically swapping one bag of shit for another,” lead guitarist Slash told WWN. “Only this bag of shit is less demanding and easier to manage… and probably a better performer than Axl, if I’m entirely honest”.

Meanwhile, an AC/DC fan-site has closed in protest of the band’s treatment of former singer Brian Johnson, announcing it would shut down the website after 13 years online.

“I’d rather grate my eyeballs than see Axl Rose fronting AC/DC,” a statement on the site read. “Hopefully Brian can get his hearing back and stop growing old. We’re sorry, but we can’t continue to support this muck, despite it being the same music, lyrics and backing band. It wouldn’t be right”.

It is understood that Axl Rose is to release a new single with the band called ‘November Thunder’, which is to go on sale on iTunes next month.