Fine Gael & Fianna Fáil To Spend The Day Pretending To Negotiate Again

FINE GAEL and Fianna Fáil are working around the clock to make it appear as if they are attempting to form a cohesive government which will bring much needed stability to Irish politics.

“We’ve got the Nintendo Wii and the Xbox set up and we have the curtains drawn so from the outside people think we’re working really hard on sorting out our differences, want a game of Wii bowling?” minister Leo Varadkar told WWN after we gained access to the negotiating table in Leinster House.

Both parties stressed the large amount of effort that goes into pretending that they’re doing right by the people with continued attempts to form a coalition government.

Today’s latest attempts at pretending to negotiate have gone ‘very well’ according to both parties, which is in stark contrast to the previous 51 sit downs, as they only went ‘well’.

“You’ve just got to dangle a little bit of a carrot to the voter to make sound like something could happen, but we’re making great progress with catching up on loads of Netflix series,” Micheál Martin confirmed, in a brief conversation with WWN.

Earlier this morning, both parties worked tirelessly to rank every episode of Father Ted, from best to worst, but are said to be a long way from a consensus.

“I suppose the only drawback is the number of takeaways you end up ordering, I’m piling on the pounds. We tend to stay late to make it look like we’re talking, but really we’re just watching torrents of Batman vs Superman, have ya seen it, it’s shite,” Fianna Fáil TD Willie O’Dea explained to WWN.

Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil are expected to drag the arse of this for a few more weeks yet.