Lynx Admit They’ll Never Top Africa
IN A poignant press release, the creators of Lynx deodorant have admitted that they’ll never top the smell of their best-selling product, Lynx Africa.
Named after the continent, Lynx Africa was released 20 years ago to a wave of praise from teenage boys across the world.
The fragrance was added to bodysprays, roll-ons and shower gels, and became a staple of changing rooms and teenager’s bedrooms for nearly 2 decades. It has been estimated that the average 16-year-old can use up to 2 cans of Lynx before going to a non-alcoholic, teenage disco.
Although Lynx have attempted to create a fragrance more popular than Africa, they’ve finally admitted that attempts to better their leading product have resulted in a never-ending line of sprays that all basically smell the same.
“Where the fuck were we going with Lynx Chocolate?” asked Simon Lynx, patriarch of the Lynx dynasty. “Click, Voodoo, Java, Peace… we made a deodorant called Peace, for fuck sake. ‘The Lynx Effect’… we’re just lying to ourselves. We can’t keep this charade up for any longer. We peaked with Africa. We’ll never better it”.
The company is now set to streamline its operations and cancel any non-African products, as well as label any unsold cans of other fragrances as Africa and stick them back on the shelf.