AN utterly bewildered Waterford woman has described her confusion at the fact her love life bears none of the hallmarks of countless romantic comedies she has watched over the years.
“No, no, hang on, it’s raining, I’m running late for an important meeting so I should accidentally bump into a gorgeous bloke who then asks me out on a date, even though I look like a complete fucking rain sodden mess,” shared Grainne Dowling, a woman who, despite possessing a lovely and sweet disposition along with a naive and refreshing approach to all facets of her life, has failed to fulfil the promise of love outlined in several romantic movies.
“Trust me I’ve looked, but I’ve found zero eligible men at a crossroads in their lives that need me to fix them, never mind the fact that none of them are hugely cynical towards the concept of commitment and love, they’re all for it actually, but they just don’t resemble what I’ve seen in the movies,” the creative type expressed, in that way only beautiful women I can imagine myself settling down with can do.
“None of my male friends are locked in this ‘will they, won’t they’ thing with me, it’s infuriating, I’m not keen on any of them, and there’s zero sexual tension’,” the adorable key to my happiness remarked.
“I should have met a rich man who seems to spend all his time working on perfecting a six-pack from heaven,” added Grainne as she played with her hair just like Mila Kunis did in that one movie.
“Maybe those shite movies were wrong about this whole love life thing,” the fragile woman who desperately needs my protection to prosper in life shared.
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