Father Shouting At Son’s Football Match Providing Gentle, Psychologically Scarring Support


A FATHER of one has been praised by followers of Hermitage Albion under 8s football team after a spirited volley of loving abuse was hurled in the direction of one of team’s more average players, his son.

Liam Henry, who has an undiagnosed case of punishing his son for his own failures as an adult, has spent much of this footballing season encouraging his boy from the sidelines with cutting remarks which undermine 8-year-old Michael’s confidence and self worth.

“Just fucking kick the thing,” Henry most recently screamed during a hard fought victory for Albion against local rivals Bambridge Valley Celtic.

“Jesus, like this,” Henry added at the top of his lungs while mimicking the movement required to successfully score from the halfway line, something little Michael has failed to do all season.

While Michael is thankful for the continued support of his father, it is speculated the very public tongue lashing may contribute to Michael further receding into himself shortly before quitting the sport altogether.

Henry took time out from his busy negative reinforcement sessions to explain the secret behind his motivational success.

“Ah, he just doesn’t try hard enough, that’s why I have him practising keepy uppies out in the garden in the evening, his homework can wait,” Henry shared, while tutting loudly every time Michael failed to keep the ball from landing on the ground.

“None of this mollycoddling, he’ll be fine,” Henry concluded before shouting “if he learns to fucking kick the ball, Jesus Michael, that was shite”.