20 McNuggets For €6 Is How The World Ends, Confirm Experts
IF experts in the downfall of civilisation are to be believed, then the introduction of the McDonalds “McNugget Sharebox” is the final straw that will bring about the end of the world as we know it.
Costing just 6 euro, the share box contains 20 chicken McNuggets and is starting to become available at McDonald’s outlets across Ireland, following successful trials in outlets across the world.
With absolutely no chance that anyone will actually share the contents of the box with other people and will instead eat the whole thing themselves, obesity levels are set to skyrocket- a move that will bring about mass disease, zero level productivity, followed by widespread death.
“There’s no way you’re going to be in McDonald’s and buy a burger meal for 8 euro when there’s 20 McNuggets for 6 quid,” said Dr. Ian Carlton, head of Doomsday Predictions at the World Institute For Sliding Into The Abyss (WIFSITA).
“Skyrocketing obesity levels were already on our radar here at the WIFSITA, but this is about to put them into overdrive. Workers too sick to do their jobs. Air traffic controllers that fall asleep at the desk. Armies too fat to protect us. Nothing, nothing can save us. We’re up shit creek and we’re using our one last paddle to shovel fried chicken eyes into our mouths”.
Research performed by WWN can corroborate the findings of WIFSITA, and have added that the destruction of the known world tastes best with the barbeque dip and not the curry one.