Public Disappointed That Hung Dáil Doesn’t Mean What They Think It Means


THE Irish people were today told to temper their excitement, as news agencies were forced to issue statements clarifying that when they say it’s looking like a hung Dáil, it doesn’t mean anything like what you might hope it does.

The Nation took to the polls this morning in one of the most hotly contested elections in recent years, with exit polls showing that Labour may not be able to win enough seats to maintain a coalition with Fine Gael.

That would leave Fine Gael with no other choice but to partner up with Fianna Fáil, something both parties have strenuously refused to consider.

Should no coalition be formed, the country could be forced into a second general election after the declaration of a “hung Dáil”, which does not mean that every single TD is dragged into the streets and hung from the nearest lamppost. Clarification of the term “hung Dáil” came as thousands of citizens had begun to celebrate on the streets while making their way to Leinster House, and has dampened the spirits of the crowd considerably.

“Ah, it means what?” moaned one citizen we spoke to, as the carnival atmosphere died down. “I thought these robbing, lying bastards were finally getting what they deserve. I took a half-day off work for this, and I went out and bought a brand new rope”.

The electorate was also upset to find out that “the party whip” was also not what they thought it was either.