Couple To Be Psychologically Assessed After Revealing They Don’t Want To Buy A House

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DUBLIN based couple Ciara Flanagan and Robert Barron are to be psychologically assessed immediately by leading property speculators after revealing they have no intention of buying a house anytime soon.

Ciara, a civil engineer and Robert, a primary school teacher, had expressed a desire to continue to rent on the outskirts of Dublin instead of trying to save the 20% deposit needed on the total cost of a new home.

“We’re in no rush,” Ciara explained as a crack team representing the Please Buy Property group, made up of property speculators, raided their rented 3 bedroom home and began an intense 14-hour interrogation.

The couple reportedly batted away questions about the rent they’re paying being ‘dead money’, and stated that they didn’t want to pay €400,000 for a house for the time being, in a revealing exchange which highlighted the obvious need for serious psychological assessment.

“This is madness; they both have jobs, and they’re renting. Why don’t they just get a fucking mortgage,” irate employee for a leading Dublin property firm Andrew Higgins asked.

“I’ve houses coming out of my ears, they can have a four bed in an underdeveloped area for about €450,000. What the hell are they waiting for?” Higgins further questioned.

Ciara and Robert’s friends and family have signed a petition, which currently has over 200,000 signatures, pleading with the couple to ‘just get on the property ladder, go on’.

The couple will be retained in a facility for more questioning, until they agree to buy a house.

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