Man Under False Impression His Opinion Carries Weight

A DUBLIN man is going about his life operating under the false impression that his opinion carries weight in almost every conversation he conducts, WWN can exclusively reveal.

Eanna Farrell, with an address in the phonebook, consistently engages in conversations, discussions and arguments with friends, family and co-workers with the factually inaccurate impression that his contributions in such interactions are so profound and important that he is actually educating everyone he comes into contact with.

“Jobless figures going down? Ha, let me tell you something,” Eanna said in conversation with a close friend who immediately stopped listening and receiving information the moment Eanna’s animated opinion began being relayed.

“We call it ‘The Switch’, as soon as he starts off on one of his opinions we all hit ‘the switch’ and just start daydreaming,” explained a co-worker of Eanna’s Colm Gregory, “actually I probably have Eanna to thank for 90% of my flights of fancy, without him I wouldn’t have thought to pair Jennifer Lawrence and Marilyn Monroe in a threesome with me”.

Most worryingly for Eanna, the 31-year-old retail worker is unaware of this reality, meaning that with each instance of opinion sharing he believes he is making the world a more informed place.

“If we were in any way decent friend to Eanna we’d probably have him committed at this stage, because I can tell you one thing, the fact he thinks I listen to his ramblings have to be proof he’s not living in the real world,” Gregory concluded.