Local Man Who Claims He Never Gets The Flu, Gets The Flu

A COUNTY Waterford man who once claimed that he never gets sick has admitted to being infected with the influenza virus, forcing him to remain in bed for several pitiful days.

Colm O’Brien, who regularly boasted to family and friends about his amazing resilience to disease, had little to say on the matter when approached about his previous claims.

“The last time I got sick was 15 years ago,” he defended, visibly agitated at the line of questioning. “I never said I was superman you know, just I rarely get sick.”

Speaking with his girlfriend Jane, WWN was astounded to find that the 39-year-old seemed to also forget about a ‘cold and sore throat incident’ last year, which apparently slipped his mind.

“Why are you people even in my bedroom?” the liar began, now shouting in a pathetic hoarse voice, reminiscent of a very sick person indeed. “Jane! Jane? Why are these people in our house?”

Realising the game was up, Mr. O’Brien caved under the pressure, and began into a fit of coughing, obviously trying to deter us from remaining in his death-stenched room.

“Get the hell out of here,” the sick bastard said. “It was just something I said, I never meant any harm. So what, I’m fucking human!”

Happy with our investigation, we left O’Brien to reflect on his own lies, hoping that one day people like him will realise that not everyone is as gullible as they may think.