Waterford Man Kind Of Proud Toilet Can’t Flush Down His Shit On First Attempt


WATERFORD man Frank Gorman is enjoying a strange sense of pride at having defeated the flushing system of his toilet after depositing a large faeces in its bowl, WWN has learned.

Frank was at first horrified by the prospect of having to wait in the toilet for minutes on end in order for the cistern to fill back up with water, however, he soon found a satisfied smile break out across his face.

“I was consumed by panic, knowing the wife would ask ‘what took you so long in there’ and there would be no hiding the fact I nearly clogged the whole thing up, but then before I knew what was what, I felt a wave of pride and elation wash over me,” Frank explained from inside his downstairs bathroom.

Endorphins released into Frank’s brain, due to the shallow and vaguely masculine achievement of disposing of last night’s takeaway, turned any feelings of shame and panic and converted them into pride.

“No toilet is a match for El Franko Shitto,” Frank said to himself in his head, during a moment of brief madness shortly after the first failed flush.

“I think the key was that it came out in one big piece, very few toilets would be able to handle that, look at it there as big as a new born,” Frank said explaining the success behind his shit, despite no one asking.

Frank reluctantly attempted a second successful flush some minutes later.