WWN Horoscopes

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aries

21 March – 20 April

You may have to go it alone this week champ, we are hungover as fuck right now.

 

taurus

21 April – 21 May

See your future? Pal, we can barely see straight this morning.

 

gemini

May 21 – June 20

“You will stay for one after the rugby is over”, there’s a horoscope that we can confirm is bullshit.

 

cancer

June 21 – July 22

You learn an important lesson this week; don’t do Jagerbombs on a school night. Wish we’d known that.

 

leo

July 23 – August 22

We’ll tell you how good we are at predicting things; we don’t need to look at our bank account to know we beat the shit out of it last night.

 

virgo

August 23 – September 22

This isn’t very professional of us, but do you have any Anadin? Dying here.  

 

libra

September 23 – October 22

Breakfast roll would go down pretty well right now.  

 

scorpio

October 23 – November 21

Our predictions for the year; never drinking again.

 

sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

OH CRAP. Would you just look at our Facebook from last night.

 

capricorn

December 22 – January 19

Brilliant. We’ve messaged our ex and told them we still love them. That’s wonderful, that is.  

 

aquarius

January 20 – February 18

WHHHHHYYYYYYY won’t this day end

 

pisces

February 19 – March 20

Few scoops will sort this right out.

 

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