Panic As Zika Virus Spreads To More Important Countries


PANIC has been palpable amongst the residents of the world’s more important countries as the harmful Zika virus begins to spread to their homelands from less important, easy to ignore nations.

“I was fairly indifferent to it all but, fuck me, I didn’t know it had come over here, someone should really do something about it now, it’s getting ridiculous that people like me could be at risk,” Aisling Ferris, a Dublin resident shared after learning that the virus now had confirmed cases in Ireland.

Rumours that the US government will now provide all the necessary equipment, personnel and funding needed to Central and South American countries in order to end the spread of the virus look set to be confirmed as important countries cannot afford to be affected by Zika.

“Our interest in the virus has been directly correlated to how close it’s gotten to here, it’s weird, I’m actually interested in the threat it poses to people now,” Los Angeles native Terry Hornshaw explained to WWN, echoing the sentiment on many residents of important countries.

Prominent world leaders including Angela Merkel, David Cameron and Barack have reaffirmed their own fears of the virus now that irritatingly irrelevant countries are causing their own nation’s problems.

“When I saw it trending on Twitter I presumed it was some half naked popstar or something, but the reality was, it was a virus causing trouble in somehwere that wasn’t the UK,” David Cameron explained at a media address regarding Zika.

“Brazil seemed such an insignificant and non-British country then, but I feel now it poses a real threat, to real people like me we must act immediately,” Cameron added.

Experts have confirmed that while Zika poses a significant threat it has not yet gotten as bad as to require a rerelease of a Band Aid charity single.