Tragic Manchester United Fan Actually Believes Neymar Transfer Rumour


A SERIES of increasingly tragic events have played out in the home of one Manchester United fan this transfer deadline day, WWN has learned.

Simon Doran, a physiotherapist based in Dublin, has remained glued to his television set operating under the impression that it is only a matter of time before Barcelona forward Neymar’s €110 million transfer to Manchester United is announced.

“My heart is jumping out of my chest, honestly, we’re actually not that far off the top of the table either, and Neymar will give us that boost we need to secure the league title,” Simon explained, in full belief his outlandish claims were making sense.

The 26-year-old’s family has found the recent transfer deadline day delusions hard to deal with.

“For all intents and purposes, Simon looks and acts like Simon but he is utterly detached from reality. Once the subject steers towards football, he starts drooling and discussing the joy that Neymar will bring to Old Trafford,” Michael Doran, Simon’s father explained.

“I knew something was wrong when he said the move would revitalise Rooney. He’s just not all there anymore,” a concerned Michael added.

Simon is expected to watch Sky Sports News for the next 12 hours before falling into catatonic shock when Neymar’s move fails to materialise.