Outrage As Catholic Church Hike Price Of St. Brigid’s Crosses By 150%


THE Catholic Church has been hit with widespread condemnation following a decision to hike the price of St. Brigid’s crosses by 150%, leaving many church-goers wondering how they’re going to be able to afford a woven cross made from rushes and twine this year.

Many may have to resort to using last year’s St. Brigid’s cross, even though each cross only contains 12 months worth of holiness. The decision by the church to raise the price of a product which is designed to be redundant after less than a year has led to widespread anger.

The popular green crosses were at one time manufactured using child labour in national schools across the country, with a workforce of thousands making crosses around the clock for no pay.

However, following an audit by human rights officials, the church had to fall into line with regulations and built a massive St. Brigid’s cross complex in the midlands, supplied with rushes and reeds from the nearby Bog of Allen.

Representatives for the church have stated that this move has necessitated an increase in the price of crosses, meaning people who collect their crosses from the front of their local church will have to throw a lot more change into the basket than they used to.

“If you threw in 20c last year, then you’ll have to throw in 50c today,” said Fr. Jim Hanning, spokesperson for manufacturing company SBX.

“Otherwise, just do without a cross this year. Frankly, we don’t care. You either want a cross or you don’t, and if you want it, you gotta pay for it. We got bills to pay on our end, we’re not running some sort of charity here”.

Health and safety regulations currently forbid people from attempting to make their own crosses, leaving many people to wonder how they’re going to make it through the year without the holy power of a bunch of grass held together with string.