Local Woman Resorts To Shredding Her Money As National Lottery Machines Malfunction


COUNTY Waterford mum Karen Power has resorted to shredding her money after spending hours trying to purchase lottery tickets for tonight’s €12 million jackpot online.

“I went to the shops earlier and the machines were down,” she recalled. “The shop assistant advised me to try online, but the bloody thing is down as well.”

Left without any option, the daughter-of-two purchased a shredding machine from Tesco to help destroy her disposable income.

“I’d usually spend fifty to seventy euros every week on the lottery,” she explained. “I’ve been doing it for so long now it just feels right to shred this up. No point in wasting it on anything else.”

However, the National Lottery confirmed that although they had experienced some technical difficulties this morning, retail sales machines resumed operation at about 12.45pm this afternoon, followed shortly by the website, much to Mrs. Power’s disappointment.

“Great, now I’m going to have to get a loan from the credit union now,” she concluded.

Tonight’s taxation on Ireland’s most incompetent mathematicians will resume at 8pm.