Puppy Receives Unwanted Human for Christmas

IN an exclusive interview with WWN, a labrador puppy has confirmed that it has already tired of the human it received for Christmas, and is wondering if it can go back to living in the dog pound where “there’s a bit of craic”.

The 3-month-old lab was adopted by a single Waterford woman in her mid-thirties, as an “early Christmas present to herself”.

Although the puppy, who answers to the name Jack, was initially thrilled to receive a human for Christmas, this excitement soon wore off when he realised the effort needed to cope with a fully grown woman who does nothing but post pictures of herself with her dog on Facebook in a bid to fool everyone into thinking that she’s totally alright with being the only one of her friends who is still single.

“I thought it would be great to get a human for Christmas, but Jesus Christ, it’s a lot of work,” said Jack, taking a well-earned lick of his balls.

“But the constant posing for pictures, having an iPhone in your face all the time… it’s way more hassle than I thought it would be. Honestly, send me back to the dog shelter where I don’t have to put up with this woman trying to balance a Santa hat on my head while lining up a shot of the TV and a wine glass in the background, for an Instagram post titled ‘perfect night in with my man LOL'”.

Puppies across the country have been advised to think long and hard about whether or not they want a human this Christmas, as humans are unfortunately for life, not just for Christmas day.