Spire Finally Useful For Something


A PROMOTIONAL stunt by the makers of Star Wars The Force Awakens aimed at turning the Spire in Dublin into a giant “lightsaber” was welcomed by all yesterday, as it finally gave the onerous monument some sort of purpose in life.

The €4m Spire, officially titled the “monument of light”, has garnered nothing but shrugs since its completion in 2003, with everyone who has ever seen or heard of it asking the same question; “what is it supposed to be?”

Standing at the spot formerly occupied by Nelson’s Pillar until the IRA blew it up in ’66, the spire was commissioned to mark the turn of the millennium.

In the 12 years since it was finished, the spire has done literally nothing up until yesterday, when a specially constructed light rig at the base was used to light the monument up in blue lights, making it sort of look a bit like a lightsaber from Star Wars.

“Oh yeah, look at that,” said one passer-by. “I suppose it does look like a lightsaber. How about that. That’s €4m of taxpayers’ money finally vindicated, I suppose. Are they going to do this for every Star Wars movie?”.

Meanwhile the producers of Star Wars have issued a statement in which they claim that lighting the spire up like a lightsaber may actually be the thing that helps the movie become a box office hit, as it was looking doubtful up until yesterday.