Mick Wallace & Clare Daly Drive Off Cliff In Convertible While Holding Hands


IT is with great sadness WWN reports that sitting TDs Mick Wallace and Clare Daly drove their 1966 Ford Thunderbird off a cliff earlier this morning, as a legion of Gardaí pursued the pair in their squad cars.

Kindred spirits brought together in a world out of step the Wexford and Dublin North TDs had found common ground on the issue of American warplanes landing and refuelling at Shannon airport.

In an attempt to break from a stilted and dreary existence, Wallace and Daly had taken a road trip to Shannon Airport earlier this year, but after breaking the law, the pair had been constantly pursued by the authorities.

Cornered after their successful escape from prison, the fugitives were successfully cornered in Paulstown, Kilkenny, home to one of Ireland’s largest quarries.

Resolving that a lifetime in prison for their heinous crimes was too much to take, Wallace, clad in a stylish headscarf to protect his hair from the unforgiving wind was overheard telling Daly they should just “keep going”.

Holding hands over the car’s gearbox, the TDs let go of the clutch together, and before Gardaí could act the pair accelerated towards the edge of the quarry cliff only to become suspended in a freeze frame several feet over the edge, resulting in their deaths.

Authorities have been unable to confirm if Wallace spent the previous night entangled in a lovemaking session with Brad Pitt.