US Kill 26 Civilians Successfully Saving Them From ISIS

THE US Government has hailed a historic victory in the fight against ISIS as a recent airstrike in Syria killed 26 innocent civilians, sparing them the fate of being killed by ISIS.

Forced into acknowledging their huge victory by on the ground monitoring agencies who revealed that the 26 civilians were the sole casualties of a strategic strike against ISIS in the town of Al-Khan in Syria, the Obama administration stressed how fantastic a result the airstrike was.

At a White House press briefing today a visibly agitated press secretary Josh Earnest chastised the US and international media for inferring that an airstrike that killed 26 innocent people could be viewed as a terrible tragedy that once again casts American foreign policy in a different, imperfect light.

“Jesus, how many times do I have to explain this to you guys? We killed them, yeah, but it means they weren’t killed by ISIS, and that represents a huge victory in the war on terror,” Earnest explained to the assembled media while grasping at his forehead in frustration.

Such utterances prompted further questions much to the displeasure of the press secretary.

“OK dipshits. I’ll say it again. These civilians were spared the horror of being killed by ISIS, you get that right? Or are you really, really stupid? We killed them, and the alternative to that was that they would be killed by ISIS, and I’m not hearing one of you saying ‘well done’ or ‘good job'”.