Nation’s Brussel Sprouts Waiting Patiently On Supermarket Shelves


THE famously patient leafy green vegetable has been biding its time, but has now made its annual move to a prominent place in the Nation’s supermarket veg section, WWN can reveal.

A proud member of the Gemmifera group of cabbages, the Brussel sprout begins the calendar year in the corner of supermarkets ignored by each and every customer, however, its use of incremental movements pays off come late November and early December.

“We typically move at a pace of about a millimetre a day, the lads stacking the shelves give us the odd look during May or June, ‘cus we’ve made serious progress, but they think it’s just in their heads and carry on,” revealed a Super Valu based Brussel sprout.

“It’s all about the long game, yeah I mean I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t want to be like the potato of the tomato, those lads get loving all year round” confirmed another Brussel sprout, based in a Cork Maxol garage.

“They’re basically rock stars man, but at the end of the day we work hard all year getting to the front of the queue and we enjoy our moment in the spotlight,” the sprout added.

More daring sprouts have been popping up next to the bacon section in some supermarkets, in an attempt to ensure they are purchased.

“Being eaten is our whole reason for existing, so if saddling up next to the bacon makes that happen, I’m going to do it,” confirmed a sprout from the cool location of a Tesco bacon and sausages aisle.