Christmas Rota Declared A Disgrace By 99% Of Staff

A PROMINENT Dublin hotel and restaurant has achieved the remarkable feat of drafting up a Christmas work rota that has managed to infuriate and anger literally every member of staff.

Up to 99% of the staff at the Merrigal Arms hotel have declared the rota to be “a disgrace”, claiming their work hours over the season are completely unfair.

Large numbers of the 160 members of staff are upset that they’re working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, while the younger members of staff are grousing that they have to work on St. Stephen’s night, traditionally a night for going out and getting wrecked.

Members of staff who don’t give a hoot about Christmas and were looking forward to the overtime were incensed to find that they have no extra cash this year because they’re “not down for Christmas”.

From kitchen staff to doormen and porters, literally everyone is unhappy with the amount of time they have to spend at work, prompting a black market-style trading of hours between staff.

“Stephen’s day is a hot commodity among the young ones, while the non-Christian staff are trying to gather as may Christmas Day hours as they can for the triple time,” said one Merrigal Arms barman we talked to.

“It’s all a mess really. HR really put zero effort into the rota this year… it’s as if they went out of their way to piss everyone off”.

In retaliation to the poor Christmas rota, huge numbers of staff are expected to stage a “show up to work hungover” protest until early January.